Helping Kids Cope with Divorce: The Power of Play Therapy
Divorce changes the shape of a family. For adults, it often comes with a swirl of logistics, grief, and attempts to “stay strong.” For children, though, the experience tends to be felt more quietly—sometimes through tears or tantrums, sometimes through silence or sudden shifts in behavior. It’s not always clear how much they’re taking in, or what they’re making of it. But they are noticing. They are holding it. And often, they’re trying to make sense of it in the only way they know how: through play.
At Willow and Moss Counseling, we understand that divorce can feel overwhelming for everyone involved. But we also know this to be true—kids are resilient. With the right support, they can find solid ground again. As a Registered Play Therapist, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing how play therapy becomes a bridge. A bridge between confusion and clarity, between sadness and safety, between what children carry and what they can begin to let go.
How Divorce Affects Children
Children process divorce differently at different ages, and no two experiences will look exactly the same. Still, there are some common patterns I’ve come to expect—not because they are predictable, but because they speak to how deeply sensitive and attuned children are to their environments.
You may notice:
Waves of sadness, anger, or guilt that seem to come out of nowhere
Worries about the future, or resistance to new routines
Changes in sleep, appetite, or general mood
Acting out in ways that seem out of character, or withdrawing from others
Trouble moving back and forth between two households
These are not signs that something is wrong with your child. They are signs that your child is trying to adapt to a new reality without all the tools they need to do so. And in most cases, they simply do not have the words to explain what’s going on inside.
It’s also important to name something that often goes unspoken: no two children—even within the same family—grow up in the same house. Each child enters the family at a different moment in time, when the adults are in different phases of their own lives. Parents bring different versions of themselves to each child, shaped by past experiences, changing circumstances, and the ever-evolving demands of daily life. Children, too, arrive with their own unique temperaments, needs, and ways of relating. They experience their parents, their siblings, and the family as a whole through lenses that are deeply personal.
Because of this, siblings may respond to divorce in very different ways. One child might become more outwardly emotional, while another might become overly independent or retreat inward. Neither response is more “right” than the other—they are simply different expressions of an internal world trying to make sense of disruption. Recognizing that difference, and holding space for each child’s individual story, is a crucial part of the healing process.
What Play Therapy Offers
Play therapy gives children the chance to express what they cannot yet say. It is not just “playing” for the sake of distraction or entertainment. It is a carefully held, therapeutic space where children can explore their inner world using the tools that come most naturally to them—imagination, metaphor, story, and movement.
Through this process, children are able to:
Express emotions safely: Toys, art, and storytelling become a language for grief, fear, confusion, and even hope
Build emotional security: Having a predictable, nonjudgmental space helps ease anxiety and builds trust
Develop coping skills: Children learn to name and navigate big feelings like anger and sadness in developmentally appropriate ways
Strengthen their relationships: As children make sense of shifting family dynamics, they begin to feel more connected, not less
The beauty of this work is that children often show us where the healing needs to happen. Our job is to create the conditions where that healing becomes possible.
How Parents Can Support the Process
You do not need to be perfect to support your child well. In fact, you do not need to have all the answers. Most children do not need constant explanations or grand reassurances. What they need is to feel seen. To feel safe. To know that even when the structure of the family shifts, the love does not.
A few grounding practices can help:
Keep communication open: Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything, and mean it
Maintain familiar routines: Predictability fosters a sense of stability in uncertain times
Offer gentle reassurance: Remind them often that the divorce is not their fault, and that both parents love them
Encourage creative expression: Give them time and space to play, draw, or move through their feelings in whatever way feels natural to them
It’s okay if you’re figuring it out as you go. Your presence and consistency are already doing more than you know.
Co-Parenting Support: A Path Forward Together
Co-parenting after divorce comes with its own complexities. It is not always easy, especially when the adults involved are still working through their own pain. But when both caregivers are able to work together—with mutual respect and a shared focus on the child’s well-being—it can make an enormous difference.
At Willow and Moss Counseling, we offer co-parenting support that focuses on:
Improving communication so that conflict does not fall on the child’s shoulders
Creating consistent routines between households for a smoother transition
Supporting parents emotionally so they can better show up for their child
Collaborating with intention around what matters most: your child’s emotional safety
Co-parenting well is not about being in perfect agreement. It is about choosing to prioritize your child’s stability over your personal grievances. It is not easy work, but it is deeply worth doing.
You Are Not Alone in This
If your child is struggling with the emotional weight of divorce, play therapy can provide them with a lifeline. And if you are finding it difficult to co-parent without tension or confusion, support is available for that too.
At Willow and Moss Counseling, we are here to hold space for the complexity of your story. We work with children, parents, and families to navigate change with compassion and clarity. Whether your family is adjusting to new rhythms or just beginning this journey, you do not have to do it alone. We are here when you are ready.
