Back to School: A Therapist’s Guide
As summer begins to wane, many families find themselves entering the familiar, sometimes overwhelming, rhythm of preparing for a new school year. Your child’s feelings about this transition may vary—excitement, anxiety, resistance, or perhaps a mix of all these—and this process can feel especially intense for children who carry unique learning needs, mental health challenges, or who are neurodivergent.
In my experience as a child therapist, I have witnessed many families navigate this particular season. I want to share some reflections and practical guidance that might help you and your child move through this transition with greater ease and support—while also nurturing the long game: raising a child who feels confident in who they are, and resilient enough to meet the world as it comes.
If Your Child Has an IEP or 504 Plan: Start With the Team
If your child has an IEP or a 504 Plan, it is crucial to engage with the team early. Plans from the previous year should not be assumed to carry over automatically, especially if your child is advancing to a new grade, entering a new building, or joining a different group of educators.
Reaching out to the school counselor, case manager, or special education coordinator provides an opportunity to reintroduce yourself if needed, and to express your commitment to collaboration.
Confirm that the accommodations and supports outlined in your child’s plan are understood and ready to be implemented from day one.
If possible, arrange a brief meeting—whether in person or virtual—with essential staff such as your child’s teacher or teachers, counselor, and an administrator. Such conversations may feel small but often establish a tone of cooperation that can influence the entire year.
Reaffirm shared goals to help your child feel supported and increase the likelihood of plan success.
Help Your Child Predict What to Expect
One of the most common roots of back-to-school anxiety lies in uncertainty. For children with trauma histories, anxiety, or neurodivergence, unpredictability may feel not just uncomfortable but threatening.
You can help by offering concrete information and by gently guiding your child to imagine what lies ahead.
Visiting the school before classes start, especially if it is unfamiliar, can be grounding. Walking the halls, locating their classroom, the restrooms, lunch area, and locker or cubby contributes to a sense of familiarity.
Mapping the route together, even by drawing it, can engage both mind and body in anticipating safety and predictability.
Practicing daily routines—such as where to place their backpack, what time to wake up, and how lunch will be managed—also offers reassurance.
Role-playing common situations such as meeting a new teacher, asking to use the bathroom, or finding a seat can provide tools for navigating these moments with greater confidence.
Children feel safer when they can visualize and rehearse what is coming, especially when they trust that you will be there to support them throughout.
Reframe Anxiety as Adventure
If anxiety feels present, reframing the experience as an adventure may offer a different way to engage with it.
Use imagination and interests to give your child a sense of agency and curiosity.
Talk about school as if it were a new level in a game, a chapter in a story, or a quest gathering skills and “power-ups.”
Create a “character profile” to identify what they need emotionally and practically to feel prepared.
Discuss energy replenishment strategies, whether a quiet lunch spot, counselor check-ins, or physical activity.
Identify “sidekicks” or helpers, like trusted teachers and friends.
Design a “map” of a good day and brainstorm obstacles and solutions.
This method does not erase anxiety but instead offers a creative framework for children to approach it playfully, making it feel less daunting and more manageable.
Ease Into the New Routine
Sudden change is hard on everyone, especially kids. If you can, start gradually shifting routines in the weeks leading up to school:
Begin gradually adjusting sleep schedules toward school-year timing.
Reinstate morning rituals like breakfast, brushing teeth, and dressing by a set time.
Practice packing a bag or lunch the night before.
Small steps now reduce overwhelm later and build your child’s sense of control.
Talk About the Adjustment Period
It can be helpful to prepare your child for the reality that the first few weeks of school often require adjustment. New demands, unfamiliar people, and different environments can leave children feeling tired, irritable, or more emotionally sensitive than usual.
Normalizing this experience with phrases like “It’s completely normal for things to feel hard at first. That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you are adjusting” can relieve pressure and foster resilience.
Allowing space for mixed feelings, and offering yourself that same grace, creates a gentler path through change.
Focus on What to Look Forward To
In the midst of uncertainty, it is important to nurture hope, curiosity, and even excitement. Asking your child questions such as:
What are you curious about this year?
Who are you looking forward to seeing?
What would you like to learn or try?
What do you want your teacher to know about you?
This can help shift attention toward positive anticipation.
If your child struggles to find something hopeful, that is understandable. Sharing what you are looking forward to can open the door to building a shared list.
Practice Gratitude: A Natural Antidote to Anxiety
Gratitude is a well-researched and powerful antidote to anxiety and depression. Even a simple daily practice—naming one thing your child is grateful for or one good thing from their day—can begin to shift their focus from fear toward resilience.
Ideas include:
Keeping a gratitude jar
Sharing a journal
Naming one “rose” (highlight) and one “thorn” (challenge) from each day
Drawing a picture of something they liked
This practice does not dismiss anxiety; rather, it balances it with appreciation, connection, and hope.
You Know Your Child Best
You know your child better than anyone else, and every back-to-school season will carry its own constellation of feelings. Some children step in with enthusiasm, while others carry dread, overwhelm, or shutdown. Every response deserves recognition.
Your role is not to make everything perfect. Your role is to be a safe and steady presence, offering support and reminding your child—and yourself—that change is something to be moved through together.
